i am a better person because of

Days and weeks go by so slowly, yet so fast. I wonder if we’re strangers yet? You wanted to stay friends, but I had to cut you out of my life, even though you’re the only person I ever truly wanted. You decided to break up. You ended us. You ended the most magical time of my life.

I know everything about you. I know every fucking inch of your body. I know your strengths and weaknesses, your sense of humor, your favorite movies, your dreams and goals and the way you love stupid series and ordering takeaway in bed.

I wander through the abandoned streets of nostalgia every night, while you’re peacefully asleep.

Do you remember how we laughed the night before you broke up? How we had amazing sex and got lost in each other’s eyes?

I remember every little thing about you. How you told me about your deepest feelings. How you used to hug me tight. How your mouth sometimes made a little twirl when you talked. How you used to make dinner and I did the dishes. How you surprised me with random stuff you knew I’d love. The first time you told me you loved me, and the whole world was spinning around me. How you loved all my different ways of laughing. How we held hands while exploring the city. The first and last time we went to our special place with the street food. I remember warm summer nights, barbeques with friends, cigarettes on your terrace. Talking all night. The way we just clicked. The way I was comfortable with being completely naked around you. How you came to my place after going out with friends, happily drunk, always telling me how lovely it was to see me. How I was so proud of you when you started your new studies. Most of all, what made my knees weak was the way you treated other people. How everyone loved you. And how I was the one you loved. Even for a while.

I can’t stand the thought of you being a stranger. You know me too well. I believed you with all my heart when you told me you would never leave me. Because I would never, ever, leave you.

One day I might be able to cherish all the memories we shared. I wish I could just put them away in the box with all the stuff you gave me. Then after a few years, I’d look back and realize how thankful I am. You really taught me how to love – not only you, but more importantly, myself. I’m sorry about my depression, insecurities and jealousy. I never meant to treat you that way. As I told you the last night, you’re the best person I’ve ever met. I’m a better person because of you.

Stranger – I hope you know that I miss you. I think you miss me too, but in a different way. You didn’t wish me a happy birthday, but I know the bright sunshine on my face was a kind greeting from you. I hope that we’ll meet again when it no longer hurts.

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